i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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