we made out on top of his cat.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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