i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
