I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
