So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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