naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
