I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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