exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize