ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
