I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
