things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
