I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Randomize
