so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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