There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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