if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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