Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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