There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
