i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
