my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
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