I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Be still, my beating vagina.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
as a side note pls kill me
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize