What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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