Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
