I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
