Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
