Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
