I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
