ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
