Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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