well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
