she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
