you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
