I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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