told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
