I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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