I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
