it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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