Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
