Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
