then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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