I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize