Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My cat gives me a boner
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
