Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
