cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
