He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
