....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
