i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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