It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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