I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
