im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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