It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
