Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
