Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
