I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We need to get me chipped asap
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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