Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize