Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
