I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
