I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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