Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
