The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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