he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
