my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
