Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
you had me at cake vodka
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
