Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
